Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D. has published an article in psychologytoday and it is entitled, Sleep On It? When to Go to Bed Angry where she speaks about how not getting enough sleep can make one more prone to angry outbursts and the inconsistency this has with the saying that goes, “Never go to bed angry”. Dr. Gordon is saying that since people tend to be more irritable when they do not get enough sleep, then people are more likely to go to bed angry as they are tired.
If one wants to look at “never go to bed angry” from a sleep perspective, then one needs to understand that anger does not allow a person to feel sleepy. This is different from a person being angry because they have not gotten enough sleep. In fact, many times a person who is tired (tired but not due to not getting enough sleep…tired, as in: it is late at night), then that person will “wake up” and become more alert if they were to get angry over something. Hence, anger does make a person more alert which is why one who is angry can say, “I could not sleep all night…I was pissed as hell!”
Yet, from a “no sleep” perspective, then one can say that not getting enough sleep can make a person angry and irritable due to how sleep works (I will speak about that in another paper). This speaks more about how not getting enough sleep can make a person angry…and it does not speak about one’s partner being the particular reason why a woman is angry although there could be a link between “not getting enough sleep” and the health of the relationship under which I would say that if a relationship deprives one from sleep in such fashion, that it is a sign of abuse.
Hence, what we have is “needing to sleep” causing one to feel angry…and “anger” not allowing one who was previously tired to go to sleep. And we see that the latter is the default upon which one can examine the claim that says, “never go to bed angry” where such saying becomes correct, not due to a romanticized reason, but due to the fact that a person is more alert when they are angry as to not be able to go to bed so easily.Here is what I am getting at: Dr. Gordon speaks about “conflict” in relation to a couple trying to find the optimal settings in order to minimize factors that exacerbate conflict. When it comes to conflict between men and women, men took the entire world and did not care once about minimizing any factors that affect women negatively. In fact, exaggeration of conflict is the bases of every society in this world as we have wars attesting to what I am saying. To “work things out” is not something that men want when it comes to their relationship with women. Yet, let us take the battle to our “private” lives and you can see the insult of “ordering peace” upon the woman get turned into a form of a threat against her life thus making “arguments” and “fights” a more friendly gesture. Meaning: when men do not want to work things out with women, asking to have a peaceful relationship is asking the woman to submit to men’s lack of willingness to work things out. You can look at the Middle East for confirmation in regards to what I am saying where if a woman was to “act out”, a man goes and gets himself another wife to join his “first” wife who needs to learn that there is someone out there who will treat him better despite her that she now has to deal with—this would show you that a man asks for peace against the woman and her overall status in society and this would show you that sexism is not separate from our private romantic relationships.
Back to sleep: Men have affected women’s sleep pattern in more ways than one and “going to bed angry” or “not going to bed to the point of irritable anger” due to fighting and arguments is merely one way men have successful managed to harm women’s sleep. And as you know, sleep is important in relation to the overall health of a person affecting things such as her heart. I would love for women researchers to look into sexism’s role in relation to a woman’s sleep in a manner that stretches past the research that says, “having sex before going to bed makes a woman fall asleep like a baby”. So I do invite women researches to conduct further research into the relationship between sexism and sleep and that affect it has on a woman’s sleep pattern.