Calling Out: Gustavo Razzetti & Psychologytoday

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Taking ourselves seriously in a world filled with problems means that one in not able to free themselves from that seriousness as it is the type of seriousness that is a result of a possibility of disrespect against us. Meaning: if we do not deal with this problem, we will be disrespected by it even further. And in such case, it is indeed a thing of “shame on us” if we let the problem get out of control further given the fact that we have children growing up who are entitled today to their own innocence and who need not to be subjected to our lack of care as we say, “taking things too seriously is the REAL problem, kids!”  which becomes a form of a sorry excuse that should have us expecting these kids to grow up to become professional mass shooters. Hence, and according to Gustavo Razzetti over at Psychologytoday.com, How to Stop Taking Yourself Too Seriously as he states that “Adults are desperate for approval” forgetting that such great gestures are indeed negated by men’s lack of willingness to give a crap about women’s approval as they have forced us, through violence and other means, to just do anything ridiculous they thought of throughout the years. So how to stop taking yourselves too seriously, dear men, now that we are on our knees where you want us to be?

The analysis of “our rights to take things easy” where Gustavo attributes our seriousness to “The Fear of Being Ridiculed” is indeed ridicule worthy. For there is nothing more ridicule worthy than the serious energy men have spent on sexism. And there is nothing more ridicule worthy than leading the world through a sexist freedom and liberation that one day the future will look back at and cover their faces in shame in regards. What is serious but that which is right? And why is it right except due to the fact that it carries the weight of its seriousness on our behalf? And what becomes of that which we do wrong except having later to carry on a solution in all seriousness of the matter? Shall we take ourselves less seriously today? For if we do, we would only be announcing ourselves to be the wrong itself in sight of all these problems that are flooding our lives.

Would it not have been better if we can sit around today and have a few laughs as to not have to be split into 100 different directions each trying to patch a leak on the wall? But goodness was not respected and correct conduct was not the way that people have acted in the past up until today. It sure would have been nice if they did. But in all seriousness of the matter, they did not and truly they did not IN ALL SERIOUS OF THE MATTER. People invested into wrong willingly which is proven by a seriousness in implementing rules that are problematic—proving that it was intentional for them to do so.

Gustavo writes,

When we fear being laughed at, we stop…

… doing what we want

… having fun

… learning

Not true, however, for the arrogance of wrong is a feeling of respect replacing the fear of being laughed at. Meaning: wrong doing makes sure that you respect the person who is doing it. And indeed if there was ever a fear of one being laughed at, then we today would be having fun and learning as those who did not fear being laughed at, had their lack of fear come from an assertion that others need to respect them no matter what.

Gustavo write, “External expectations are a moving target, as I wrote in this post. By trying to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one — ourselves included.” Since when, however? Since when did men try to please everyone? I thought that the entire issue we have today is due to the fact that men aimed at pleasing no one at all but themselves using everything else they can get their hands on. Because here is the deal about “pleasing everyone”: that is the job of the world to balance out and it is indeed a thing that happens when everyone does the right thing. Since when did men aim hard to please only for us to end up in a ditch we cannot get out of?! Or maybe…just maybe: “pleasing everyone” has been a slavery job… literally: a slavery job imposed onto certain groups one of which is women. And maybe…just maybe: this “please me” was imposed against us as a threat against our wishes as the terms of it was injustice itself.

Yet, as Gustavo insists that, “We wrongly believe the world is a stage. Our self-worth is tied to how our audiences receive our performance. If they love it, we are worth it. If they don’t, we feel worthless. Living our lives as an endless performance is exhausting — we are always playing a part.” I say that “out of touch with the truth” is indeed the bigger problem which turns the world into a staged performance. And so excuse me if I am not in the mood to laugh so much because when Gustavo says that, “Perfectionism is the enemy of change. The bar is so high that we never rest to have fun. ” I need to remind him that there is no fun in being seen as inferior and treated as inferior and that  the bar has been set so high so low as for the lowest point to be asserted as the best aspect of men’s existence for us to adhere to. But forget about all that, because Gustavo wants to tell you “How to Take Yourself Less Seriously”:

  1. Confront the fear of being ridiculed. End the vicious cycle — fear fuels more fear. Face it and get over it. As Seth Godin said, “Dance with fear. As you dance, you realize that fear is, in fact, a compass — it’s giving you a hint that you are onto something.” Use that fear as energy to leap forward.
  2. Drop the ball on purpose. I don’t mean this metaphorically. Just let something fall through the cracks. This will not only help you realize that one mistake won’t kill you — but it will also help you regain control. If someone complains, simply smile and tell them you did it on purpose. Erring on purpose prepares you for unexpected mistakes.
  3. Change the tone, change the conversation. The best way to overcome pressure from perfectionists is not taking them too seriously. Perfectionists tend to think in right-or-wrong terms — either you succeed or fail. Use humor to disarm their approach: show them life’s shades of grey.
  4. What’s the worse thing that could happen? This simple question can help you, and others put things in perspective. I’m not telling you not to aim high, but to find balance. Write everything that comes to your mind. Are you worried about real things? Or are you taking small things too seriously? Reflect and separate worries from facts.
  5. Become shame-resilient. Learn to acknowledge the voice of shame when it’s calling your name. Face that emotion. Brené Brown suggests talking to your shame: “This is disappointing, maybe even devastating. But success and recognition and approval are not values that drive me. My value is courage. You can move on, shame.”
  6. Add more humor to your life. Surround yourself with funny people. Turn off the news and violent shows; watch a comedy instead. Use self-deprecation instead of nasty labels. Smile. Especially when you feel nervous or upset. Find the humor in something serious. Getting used to laughing at yourself will make you immune to your audience’s laughter.
  7. Let go of your reputation. Your image is not you. It’s just what people perceive. Don’t let your self-worth depend on your audience’s applause. When your self-worth is not on the line, it’s easier to take more risks and be courageous. You stop thinking about whether you know how to dance or not. You just start swaying.

Clearly there are serious issues surrounding each one of these points: all can be summarized with one having to be okay with having no self respect. “ADD MORE HUMOR TO YOUR LIFE”: What are we cooking? well whatever it is, just “turn off the stove (aka. news and violent shows)”—and “find the humor in something serious”… can you believe 9/11? LOL. Is that what you mean?! 

Listen, however: our lives are serious and there is ZERO humor in oppression and there is ZERO humor in sexism. “If someone complains, simply smile and tell them you did it on purpose. Erring on purpose prepares you for unexpected mistakes.” Really?! Well, that explains everything…we shall go and forget about the entire thing then.

WHEN HUMAN RIGHTS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED, NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SLEEP WELL, RIGHT? DID YOU MEN ALLOW US TO SLEEP WELL? OR WERE WE FORCED TO SLEEP IN ACCORDING TO YOUR THREATS?! HENCE, WHEN HUMAN RIGHTS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED, NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SLEEP WELL

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