“Stronger self-esteem may emerge from a conscious commitment to greater happiness” is the subtitle to an article written by Lynn Tylor entitled, Can Happiness Lead to Confidence?
Yes, happiness is an aspect of selfhood which means that every conscious is committed to happiness as happiness is the active aspect of “being one’s self” and living it. In living one’s authentic self, one is confident as the self is not under attack by others. If the self is not under attack by others, then it means that people are esteeming the concept of “self” for themselves and others which means that one is being appreciated correctly which is a thing that is contradictory to “nonsense”. That which is contradictory to “nonsense” is logical and predictable which now takes us backwards to one feeling more confident as they are able to measure their abilities correctly as to have control over outcome in relation to who they are as people which is a thing of “self growth”. Going backwards some more and this “self growth” is an as aspect of a the “universal goals of self” as life becomes a thing that feels similar to “achieving a new mile stone every day” which is an aspect of happiness.
Here is the issue however: The self is not that delighted in serving the needs of others at its own cost no matter how “Mother Teresa” you might be. No self SHOULD be delighted in making others serve its needs at their own cost either as that would be self-deficiency that creates room for permanent loss of talent as the self extends its own means (scope of coverage) to that which is past its own body becoming reliant on others for a life. Men have established a society based on permanent servitude that is sexually objectifying. There is no happiness in that… which is proven by the amount of problems that a person finds themselves in on daily bases. Now, if a house wife spends two hours cooking a meal for the family and they all come home where the husband thought that his wife was not cooking today so he brought with him some pizza…as their son walks in having thought that his mom did not cook today and that his dad was not bringing any pizza so he brought fried chicken…. the table is going to look like a big waste of food as one knows that much of it is going to go in the trash… most of which will be the effort of the mom in preparing that meal. Meaning: mommy’s effort is going to be placed in the trash more so than any portion of food left. Such food wasting becomes a thing of a crime in relation to one wasting anything in that fashion repeatedly despite the fact that America wastes that much food today. The self is not a secondary nor is it an accidentally extra portion that men are allowed to make us dispose of just because they have brought their own self for dinner. We are not allowed to say, “oh you brought pizza today” as to precede by throwing to the side all that which we have for ourselves to live. We are not allowed to say, “we like pizza more although it is not great for my health” as to swallow our pride in relation to the self that is prepared to live its own will. We are not left overs that can be placed in the fridge for later use in heavens above. Even in relation to actual food, feelings get hurt. Even if one brings a gift and it is not appreciated one feels a sense of disappointment. How much happiness should we have today in being asked to put ourselves to the side? How much happiness should we have as we are slaving over kneading an imaginary dough for the pizza that our “husband” is bringing home for dinner? We are consumed in problems that our selves find to be merely imaginary in relation to its own likes and dislikes. We have prepared the dinner table without having an appetite as we need to say how wonderful everything looks while others are getting their needs met going as far as understanding that even food itself is enough to give us esteem as to only wonder what it really means for us to be esteemed due to our own will being respected. The next day, that same woman cooks a meal again only for everyone else to walk in with another huge catering of food each… she takes the food she made and dumps it into the trash …. How truly a person is not willing to put up with other people’s shit even if they were to subject them to “waste of time” twice in a row? How truly men had to enforce their rules with a stick from a young age on women for women to even entertain them?! And how truly is the difference between how a woman really is and what she is forced to put up with?! And how great is the crime that men have committed against women?! I will tell you that the crime is SOOOOO huge that if we were to calculate the amount of selfhood wasted daily, you would need to call the city and ask them to bring you 4 extra trash bins. We are talking about A SELF here, dear men. The crime against us is greater than the dumping grounds of holocaust camps. And forgiveness? if the self is a physical thing, the bodies we have are not seen as enough of an evidence for you! Yet, few words seem to matter…. and the question becomes: would saying “I forgive you” matter only because it is only 3 words and then we can shut up?! Or should we forgive despite the fact that, to men, “not many words matter coming out of our mouths?” Why forgiveness matters: because if we are only allowed to say anything, it can only be 3 words in length to be respected AND those three words better do the magic trick of erasing all other words that could have been said instead since the beginning of time as to cover all things via that magical mechanism AND those three words need to also allow room for others to express themselves as freely as they like from the moment you say them forwards AND those three words need to not allow you to think about not saying them as that becomes the mechanism of action called, “mean” as it would be “mean” if you “mean” anything else for a final conclusion… if that criteria needs to be met then “I forgive you” would be the only words to match it. Hence, these are the reasons why forgiveness matters.