Calling out: Nathan Feiles & Psychcentral

Liliyan Hassan Call-out Leave a Comment

Psychcentral.com has an article out entitled Grass is Greener Syndrome: Starvation of Needs and it is written  By Nathan Feiles, MSW. What caught my attention on that page (click on link above) was a little image on top that has the blog-title and  it says, “relationships in balance”.

What kind of science fiction is that? Women have not yet breathed for us to even be close to having anything balanced.  How does anyone feel that a “balanced scale” is a thing that represents men’s relationship with women when:

  1. it is women who are compromising more than men are—hence, “men’s relationship with women” is one thing and “women’s relationship with men” is a whole other thing.
  2. Women are still wearing burqas and hijabs in order not to get raped.
  3. Women are still trying to find a “perfect” balance in relation to how much skin is safe to show if they were to not get raped given that “perfect” is what the outfit needs to be in order to justify giving a woman a sense of safety.
  4. Women are still getting raped.
  5. Women are treated as sex objects.
  6. women are often economically troubled.
  7. women are still facing honor killings
  8. women are still facing arranged marriages
  9. women are still being killed for sexual reasons .
  10. women are still getting harassed out of their jobs into homelessness.

All I am asking is this: where did this balance come from when speaking about the relationships that men have with women? Many women look at that tiny little picture on that website and honestly feel a sense of equality with men. TODAY, MANY WOMEN FEEL LIKE THEY ARE EQUAL (OR VERY CLOSE TO BEING EQUAL) TO MEN. I FIND THAT TO BE THE BIGGEST CRIME OUT OF ALL CRIMES AGAINST WOMEN.

IT IS THE BIGGEST CRIME IN OUR WORLD TODAY FOR MEN TO GIVE WOMEN THE IMPRESSION THAT THEY ARE ON EQUAL GROUNDS WITH THEM.

WOMEN EVERYWHERE:  I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR SKIN COLOR, CULTURE, RELIGION, AGE, ABILITY…. PLEASE DO NOT VIEW YOURSELVES AS EQUAL TO MEN GIVEN THAT WE NEVER COMMITTED SUCH CRIMES AGAINST ANYONE AND YOU WOULD NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO TAKE UP THOSE “EQUAL GROUNDS” IN THE NAME OF WOMEN AS I MYSELF OBJECT AGAINST ANY WOMAN WHO IS WILLING TO TAKE AN “EQUALITY” STANCE WITH MEN AS TO BRING MEN’S CRIMES UNDER OUR NAME.

MEANING: you are not allowed to say that we are equal to men since men have committed many crimes against us that have not been resolved. You cannot say that men and women are equal today because we are not equal today. You cannot say that we are equal specially if you are bearing children as  that would be a form of abuse against your daughter if you were to tell her that she is on equal grounds to men today (Even women who are threatened with honor killings are told that it is a fair thing as they still feel equal to men despite such practices). Your daughters may get raped and abused: you cannot start them off saying, “you are on equal grounds with men today”. You cannot say that we are on equal grounds with men because we are not united enough to be able to carry the terms of our “equality” while men are able to carry the terms of “their equality” against us and against other men. Black men are not on equal grounds with black women. White men are not on equal grounds with white women. Asian men are not on equal grounds with Asian women. Arab men are not on equal grounds with Arab women. Jewish men are not on equal grounds with Jewish women. Australian men are not on equal grounds with Australian women. Hispanic men are not on equal grounds with Hispanic women. European men are not on equal grounds with European women.  Poor, Middle Class, Rich, Very Rich, Billionaire-Rich women are not on equal grounds with any man  even if he is the poorest of men. Please do not forget that it is not within your rights to speak on our behalf in general as to say that we are equal to men while we are still being abused by them. Such claims are too isolating of women and they give men a sense of shelter. Please remember that if you are rich and well off, that the money you have was gained against women…and although it is not your fault that money is gained in this fashion today, it is still not a thing that allows you to say that you are equal to men.

Men, please do not sell women a dream as an individual while she is being abused in general. Please do not sell women “equality” just because other women are in a worse position. Please do not insist on saying that you are equal since women are not garbage as to not feel it on their own if it was true. Please do not insist on saying your are equal with women due to hardships you are facing since those hardships benefit you within the terms of sexism nevertheless. THANKS!!!

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