If you want to score a date with a hot chick you like, body language is important. You need to appear confident. Look: it does not matter if you are an insecure man. PRETEND! And if you did not have self-esteem issues before, then having to fool her (or appear as someone else) will do the trick in lowering your self-esteem. We will not try to make you feel secure in life in any other way after all. Pretending is the best option you have right now.
The same goes for women. No matter how much society has shown you in its 1244534 ways that you are unfit physically, emotionally, and mentally—do not act like it did that to you. Act like these things have done you right! Get up and put on some high heels. This will straighten your otherwise hunched back. And if you did not have any self-esteem issues before being told that you have to dye your hair, put on some makeup, grow a few inches, and talk in a different tone—then this will do the trick in lowering your self-esteem too. Which means that you are going to continue to have to do these things forever as a way to replace that self-esteem lost due to using them.
If you are a man and you want to trick the hot chick (who is also trying to trick you) into thinking that you are confident—or if you are a woman who wants to trick that man into thinking that you are confident—here are a few much needed tips: (blue is for men….and pink is for women, of course: because blue has a penis and pink has a vagina!)
FIRST—look at your date in the eyes when you talk. Chicks love that! (although I don’t… it is creepy and awkward). But “chicks” apparently fall for it.
For women: When he looks you in the eyes, act like you are cutting the steak. This will show him that you are not falling for it and you will appear more confident that way. He will have to try the next few tips I have (if he tries the second tip, congratulations, he is interested in you still).
Second, be more assertive when you talk. Do NOT end every sentence with a tone as if you are waiting for an answer. Even if you are asking a question: Make your questions sound like you already got the answer. This will make her feel like you do not need her—hence, it will play onto her self-esteem issues and she will be all over you trying to find out if you need her or not. Do not worry: I have some tips for her to bring you down too!
For women: Although you may be feeling like he does not need you when he speaks that way, pretend that you do not care. Do NOT answer the question and pretend that what he just said made no sense to you! Like he got the wrong answer to his own question!
Third: Not only should you order dinner for your lady, but order the waiter around too. When your date is less than half way done with her glass of water, call the waiter over just to fill it up. This will give her the illusion that you are in a position of power and that you will take care of her using other people. CHICKS DIG THAT!
For women: When the waiter comes and fills up your glass of water and then leaves, tell your date that he forgot to get you a fresh slice of lemon. In doing that, you just showed your date that he cannot even order water right for you. Hence, ask the waiter in a confident non-questioning tone to get you a FRESH slice of lemon. (emphasize the FRESH…why? Am trying to order you around too! That is why! Listen: if you want to order others around, you gonna have to put up with it from others too!)
Fourth, as soon as your date starts talking about something she is interested in, look around the restaurant while still trying to look at her. Make it appear that looking around is an involuntary action due to how boring she is. Nothing will have her chase after you than you ignoring her as if you are looking for an escape already. She would want to find out why.
For women: I know that when your date looks around you will feel like crying but here is what you need to do–get pissed. Take it seriously: like you do not allow him to treat you like this—and he will love it because that is what he wanted: He wanted to feel confident. And now you are the boss of his confidence ITSELF! (no…this is not a love game… it is war of the sexes!)
Fifth, eat from your date’s plate without asking her. Just grab your fork and take some of the salmon she ordered. It gives her the comfortable feeling that you see her as someone close to you without you really feeling that way—plus you get a bite of salmon. In addition, it takes an extreme level of confidence to do that—even if you are an insecure shaky man, DO IT!! TRUST ME!!! She will not go home thinking, “he ate from my plate…this means he does not like me!” oh…you like her alright (at least it appears so)!
For women: when he eats from you plate do not text your girlfriends right away saying that you will be moving in with your date soon. Instead say, “I like that…” to him. He is only pretending–and this will catch him off guard. And if he is only pretending to be this confident, you will be able to tell and it will work against him where now he will be chasing after you to prove otherwise! This way you get the upper hand.
Sixth, if you are around someone and s/he is not making you feel secure, then it would be worse if the previous 5 tips work than if they fail. You don’t have to appear confident–what is his role in your confidence level? And what is her role in your confidence level? Of course you should feel less confident around someone who is looking around while you are talking—well it is not an issue of confidence: it is an issue of being rude. You do not have to act like it does not matter. When you want to appear confident by pretending to be, ask yourself: what is this pretending costing this other person that I like? Am I making her/him feel insecure as a way to appear confident?
We have people who say, “Do not be all over her/him!!! Do not show her/him that you like her/him! It takes away from you!”–Yet, abuse should not lead better conduct. Some people abuse others when they show them that they like them. And we often come to the conclusion that it is BETTER to treat people worse. Yet, if someone has done this to you in the past, remember: YOU were the BETTER in that situation. To say that it is better to treat people worse is to surrender ownership of that BETTER YOU to your abuser.
Confidence in dating: it is about certainty of how the other person feels about you. And this certainty depends on genuineness and not stupid body language tips. Certainty is not possible on the first date, hence attentiveness and wanting to know someone more replaces confidence. Yet as far as playing the “let us pretend we are confident” game, I say: Fool her once, shame on you for thinking that she needs to be fooled. Fool her twice, shame on her for liking it the first time and giving you a second date!