(Boob) Job Anxiety!

In Beauty & Fashion, Diet & Health, GENDER, psychology, Satire, Sex & Dating by Liliyan HassanLeave a Comment

If you just raise your arms for a second while I tie this wire around your chest in order that I may do this polygraph test…  Now, let us hope that you did not feel very anxious whilst you were robbing the bank lest you look back at the event in question, today, while feeling comforted that you are at least not as nervous now as you were back then where that would allow you to pass the lie detector test despite you being a freaking liar…

Anxiety, after all, is feeling that one is being dragged somewhere against their will even if one is walking there within the rounds of her own will—  where  “free will” and “against my will” become the same and the opposite all at once—due to the fact that conviction, in relation to that will, took too much effort to establish as the certainty in its regards is just not up to par with the effort one has invested. All I am saying is that if you have spent 5 hours in front of the mirror in order to get ready and you look like you have only spent 10 minutes at the most, then you should feel anxious given that A. The 5 hours that you have spent says that the event is important and you look like you have only taken 10 minutes to get ready for it. Or B. You have wasted 5 hours to go somewhere that requires only 10 minutes to get ready for as that says that you are a frivolous person who will waste other people’s time so much so that it would not be surprising if someone was going to punch you in the face when you arrive to the event and take 30 minutes to just order one freaking drink—which is something to feel anxious about. In that, anxiety happens if one is not prepared enough or when one feels like they can never do enough to ever be prepared enough…which is a thing that speaks about “results” and “judgment”.

Anxiety happens when  the person has created her “will” or when society has “created” one’s will in such fashion that has not followed itself thoroughly in logic (intent is put into question) as it fails to create a “correct conviction”  in its regards where one may feel like they have “a bad feeling about this” or they feel “very nervous about this” in a manner that is not controllable specially if the conviction is flawed in relation to self-control . Hence, if you go to see a doctor and he tells you that you need an operation, his advice may not be enough of a conviction for you to go ahead and have him operate on you (I am not, at all, talking about getting a boob-job)… Therefore, you probably need to go to another doctor in order to see what size implants you should get for your teeth given that the first doctor seems to not care whether you get 100cc or 700cc implants. After seeing that the second doctor is only willing to add 400cc at the most (perfect size implants) to each breast, you settle for that doctor as that becomes a conviction that you have in regards to your will to get your “teeth” fixed…despite the fact that you would have preferred to not get the surgery at all if ONLY you were just born with bigger boobs (Will to have surgery meets “I do not want to have any surgeries at all”). No one wants to get a boob job: g-d made those people that way as to need it. Now, once you arrive to the hospital on the day of your operation, you will still feel anxious because the conviction that your ass has formed is flawed in relation to “self-control” as you will be put under general anesthesia … where, then, you will be trying to calm yourself by asking self-control related questions such as, “Do you think that getting 400cc in each boob is too much?! Am I going a bit overboard, you think?!” as everyone will tell you “no, you will be fine…they will look great” because the truth be told is that if you are one who deserves a better boob job, you would have realized it before the day of the operation as the “anxiety”, at this time, is no longer related to your specific intelligence but it is related to a lack of self control that is not even yours at that point given that it is related to self-control-lost in you being knocked the hell out. Here are two Vicodins: calm your ass down!! No changing your mind on the day of your boob job surgery!

Conviction and being a convict are indeed related. If you do not want to get caught lying through your teeth (or lying through/about your boobs as to have the audacity to say that they are not fake), you need to convince yourself in a balanced manner for the polygraph test. Too much conviction is falsehood as it adds “stress” where the needle on the polygraph machine will jump (or your implants will show through your skin whenever you bend over to pick something off of the floor)… Too little conviction, and the machine will show a flat line that is longer than usual as if your mind took itself on a bathroom-break while you were attempting to answer the question asked by the detective (or your boobs will fail to move as they are as stiff as a  rock where you should empty some of the saline out for a more natural movement). Yet, whether a woman has fake boobs or whether she has natural boobs, ownership of our bodies should NOT have to come down to us having to actually pay for our body parts!

About the Author

Liliyan Hassan

Founder: Go for Women

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