Melania Trump: Poor Donald!

In Beauty & Fashion, Celebrity, Diet & Health, Featured, Politics, Satire by Liliyan HassanLeave a Comment

As you may all have read online and seen on the news, Melania Trump gave a speech at United Nations where she addressed bullying. Before we get to her speech, however, let us talk about her dress. First of all, it is pink. Why? Why did she choose pink? I do not like that color for a dress. It is too bright as if she is trying to trick us into seeing her in the same way we see her dress: As a bright person…It is simply not working out so well. Second of all, it was a dress: why? Why did she wear a dress and not a pair of pants in order to send the right message for women as being one who is strong and assertive. Instead: pink and dress as if the point of that meeting was for people to tell us their favorite color instead of telling us about their valued principles. Third of all, the shoulders are “flowy” and oversized. Standing behind the podium, I was not sure if I should be thankful that the podium covered her pantless legs or if I should be angry at how horrible the dress is from the arms up (which is just the arms). Listen, Melania, Pink and Big is never a good idea. Look at a Baboon’s ass and tell me if the color pink ever looks good when it is oversized. Indeed, when it comes to politics and making a fashion statement, A pink dress with oversized shoulders is not the thing that will earn any woman any respect—yes, women need to EARN respect and they need to EARN it by how they dress. Very none sexist at all. Although if she showed some cleavage, we would still say that it was “too much” but deep inside we would appreciate it more than this pink dress she wore. So which one do you want, Melania: do you want us to pretend to hate the dress (you should NEVER wear) that shows your cleavage? or do you want us to truly hate the pink dress you wore? Which one?!

After being distracted by the horrific scene of the accident that is called, “an outfit”, I am certain—as all of you are— that it is Melania who allowed us to criticize her so harshly. If she was not so into fashion and if she was not so pretty, we probably would not have cared so much as to what she had on. Yet, due to the fact that she has put herself in a position to be someone fashionable and beautiful, she needs to live up to those standards. Hence, “go change and put on some black pants and a decent jacket…maybe then you can look like how you usually look!” Why is she letting herself go like that?! We, the American people, take everything seriously and to heart and we like to receive subconscious messages from anything and everything that our eyes fall on… What is the message that Melania is trying to send us by the dress she wore? What is the message she is trying to send us by the shoes she put on? And what is the message she is trying to send us by the purse she held? Clearly, however, that pink dress is sending us a message aimed at depriving us from our ability to further receive any hidden secret messages from the universe…It is that bright.

It is no secret, however, that Melania is married to a bully who has forced her to marry him against her will by threatening to behead her if she was to refuse such offers. And it is clear that Trump’s beliefs and ideology is one that encourages bullying as it opposes diversity and aims at making Melania live an isolated life amongst those who only agree with him in beheading her. Hence, it is no secret that Trump is a bully and that his wife is one who has no right to oppose any form of bullying what so ever since men rule over women in thoughts and in action. Therefore, before these so-called-wives try to open their freaking mouths past their husbands and where their husbands stand on the issues in this world, they need to check their luggage in with the customs in order to make sure that the statements they want to make are allowed to exit the countries of their mouths and enter into the countries of our ears even if they need to take a few words and dump them in the trash as forbidden items. For if your freaking husband is not there putting you in check, remember dear, WE will put you in check using your useless husband since clearly he is not doing his job at making sure that your opinion matches his.

So how dare this Melania think that if her husband is foolish enough that we will be foolish too? Maybe she thinks that if she can run a thing on her husband as to assert her views against bullying where her husband tries to dismiss her view by being a bully, that she will not be held accountable for his actions as she should be. If your husband, Melania, bullies people against what you believe is right, too bad! Afterall, it is not possible for a man to act in such manner that is against the beliefs of his wife where he dismisses her values and where it ends up putting her in a position to have her values dismissed by everyone else (just like Hillary and Bill). Nope. It is clear that it is Melania who is the hypocrite and that how she feels clearly matches with the actions of her husband despite what she says. Hence, even if she says otherwise, we will do the right thing by backing her husband thereby subjecting him onto her against her will as a nation in order for her to understand where the hell she stands! We will put her ass in check for you, Donald! No worries!

So please, dear Melania, let me tell it to you slowly and loudly so that you may understand: YOUR HUSBAND IS A BULLY. OKAY? YOU CANNOT BE AGAINST HIM. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DISAGREE WITH HIM. WE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE YOU NEED TO DO AS HE LIKES. DO YOU GET THAT?! HERE, LET ME EXPLAIN IT TO YOU IN ANOTHER WAY: IF YOUR HUSBAND TELLS WOMEN TO NOT LEAVE THEIR HOMES AFTER 8 PM, HE MEANS IT, MELANIA…HE REALLY MEANS IT!! SO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUT AFTER 9 PM? GO BACK HOME AS YOUR HUSBAND LIKES! WE WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU GO HOME AS YOUR HUSBAND LIKES!! OK…OK… SOME WOMEN IN THIS WORLD LIVE AROUND MEN WHO BELIEVE THAT WOMEN SHOULD HAVE THEIR VAGINA MUTILATED. GUESS WHAT THESE WOMEN SHOULD DO? THEY SHOULD AGREE WITH HIM! THEY CANNOT SAY, “I BELIEVE THAT IT IS WRONG TO MUTILATE MY DAUGHTER’S VAGINA” BECAUSE THEN WE WOULD SAY, “TELL THAT TO YOUR HUSBAND IF YOU DARE!” AND IF HER HUSBAND STILL INSISTS ON THAT BEING A GOOD THING, WE WILL NOT ACCEPT HER COMMENTS IN RELATION TO HER OPPOSITION TO THAT PRACTICE! GET IT?! HERE, LET ME EXPLAIN IT TO YOU AGAIN: A HUSBAND IS SOMEONE THAT EXPECTS HIS WIFE TO AGREE WITH HIM ON EVERYTHING. OKAY?! IF HE LIKES HIS WIFE TO COOK HIM 10 MEALS LEST HE GETS ANGRY, SHE NEEDS TO COOK HIM THOSE 10 MEALS. SHE CANNOT SAY, “I BELIEVE WOMEN SHOULD ONLY COOK ONE MEAL AND ONLY IF THEY FEEL LIKE IT!” EVEN IF THIS WAS JUST ABOUT FOOD AND NOT BULLYING, WE WOULD STAND OUR GROUND BY TELLING YOU TO GO AND COOK YOUR HUSBAND ONE MEAL BEFORE YOU PREACH TO OTHER WIVES ABOUT YOUR VALUES…OTHERWISE GO HOME AND COOK YOUR 10 MEALS AS HE DEMANDS AND SHUT UP!!!! DO YOU GET IT OR DO YOU NEED ME TO EXPLAIN SOME MORE?! OKAY, LET ME TELL IT TO YOU IN A LANGUAGE YOU MAY UNDERSTAND: IF THE STATEMENTS YOU MADE WERE A BANK STATEMENT, YOU CANNOT TELL US THAT THIS IS JUST YOUR PRIVATE ACCOUNT SINCE WE ARE CERTAIN THAT YOUR HUSBAND OWNS A PART OF IT. YET, HERE, YOUR HUSBAND DOES NOT ACCEPT THE CURRENCY THAT YOU ARE PREACHING ONTO US! SO GO AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND DEAL WITH THE SAME CURRENCY FIRST AND THEN YOU CAN COME OVER AND TRY TO MAKE SOME TRANSACTIONS AT OUR STORES!

If Trump was to bully Melania and if she was to stand thereafter and tell us all about how wrong bullying is, we would see her as a victim who is blind to her own condition. Yet, if her husband bullies women and Melania is against it, then she should just support her husband or she should use her relationship with him in order to persuade him to change his ways because that is exactly what Melania was suggesting to us. She was telling us, “it is easy to change people after they grow up…hence, raise children thoughtlessly and then their wives will do the honor of working on them!” The point Melania was making is that bullying sucks for children and that children need not to bully other children. But let us hop and skip over to a better point: Trump is a bully. No: Trump is not the child she was speaking about…but who cares?! Same difference as far as we are concerned. Not only that, but we have a point of our own to make and we will make it in the same fashion babies are made: Men are in charge of how we should see women and men are how we should judge these women by. Not only did Trump do that to Hillary but we are using Trump to do the same thing onto Melania.

Image: US First Lady Melania Trump waters plants while harvesting and planting vegetables with students from the Boys and Girls Club of Washington DC, at the Kitchen Garden on the grounds of the White House in Washington, DC, USA, 22 September 2017. EPA/MICHAEL REYNOLDS EPA MRX01 USA FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP GARDENING

Few days later, and now onto the White House garden where Melania is photographed in a $1380 shirt as she harvests the vegetables from the garden that Michelle Obama planted. Since the White House seems to be a fashion runway instead of a political arena, then I wonder how much Donald Trump’s, Obama’s, Bill’s, George’s suits cost them and why the hell they keep wearing the same color suits all the time. I mean can you at least throw on a different colored tie, Donald, or is the red one the only one you like? I am getting sick of it. Yet, when it comes to First Ladies, fashion has to always be the thing that is there for us to judge a woman by as if that is not the type of judgement that women try to escape from. Whether that woman wears something cheap or expensive is used to make a bigger statement in regards to her values as if we are her mother-in-law. And whether she wears high heels or sneakers, we are sitting there as if we are Raymond’s mother (Marie), from Everybody Loves Raymond, feeling the misery of watching our son being married to a woman who is always a bit too deficient in her cleaning skills or cooking skills or her manners or in the way she dresses for our beloved son. The First Ladies are always seen as ones who are ruining their husband’s income by spending too much and by being wasteful. Indeed, when it comes to First Ladies, the American people are their mothers-in-law: Did you see how much she spent on that shirt? What a horrible disaster?!! Poor Obama…Poor Bill…Poor George…Poor Donald… Our son worked so hard and she is just buying clothes with the money as if he has won the lottery! Did you see how she wore those high heels? What is she trying to do? Show off as if it does not cost a fortune? Oh how insensitive is she to her husband’s hard work, that money squanderer! Poor Donald, we need to talk to him, Frank!

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Liliyan Hassan

Founder: Go for Women

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