Not So Understandable Dating Tips!

In GENDER, psychology, Sex & Dating by Liliyan HassanLeave a Comment

Ruining a perfect romantic relationship within the first few dates is easy to do given that you have the decency to label such short period as, “a romantic relationship” yet alone a “perfect” one. Hence, today, I need to give you tips on how to start changing yourselves early on into a relationship in order not to turn a guy off as he may not like your personality. Yes, ladies: taking tips from others on how to behave yourselves for your very (not) important first or second date does not only say that you do not find yourself to be great enough the way you are, but that you are willing to throw your entire personality away in order that another person may not get the “wrong impression” as his lack of understanding becomes a desirable trait that you need to cater to. Lack of understanding or not, that is besides the point when it comes to any man since what it important is that he does not notice anything that may trigger a red flag as to make him not want to take the time to understand it….since again, lacking any understanding is great. Therefore, I have gathered these few great tips on how to behave yourselves when that VERY IMPORTANT LIFE CHANGING FIRST DATE comes.

First, On your date make sure that you do not complain about your life and do not make it seem like you should be somewhere else as if your life is about to crumble upon itself at any moment. You need to seem like you have your life together whether men have allowed for women the rights to have her life together or not. Simply put, a woman who has her life together is not someone that NEEDS a man but is someone who WANTS and DESIRES to be with a man (rape culture says that a woman needs to consent, after all). No one wants to feel like you are with them out of HAVING NO CHOICE BUT TO be around them as if the person is kidnapping you. And although such thing may be hard to pull given that men have made sure that women NEED them more than they can ever ever ever ever WANT them, put that shit to the side and put a smile on…lord know you NEED to do that if you are going to get anywhere in life.

Second, first impressions are not important for you as they are important for men (which is why they abused us in every society in this world in doing their part when it comes to leaving a great first impression on us). Just because your date walks in wearing a pair of jeans and sneakers, that does not mean that you can walk out of the door on equal grounds. Simply put, your date needs to see how well you are able to dress yourself  since (all of the sudden) men do not like women to depend on them. Hence, wearing high heels is a must. And although those few inches that you gain from wearing high heels on your date may seem to only work on a man who has low moral standards as to demand a woman to wear them, I am telling you that men do not see high heels are important. Their subconscious  does. Get into his brains before he has a chance to understand: That is what trying to date a man who lacks any understanding is all about. Put on some high heels: he will feel more attracted to you without him knowing why.

Third, do not reveal too much information. A man who is going to judge you by the first few dates is, again, a man who is not very understanding as he expects you to put all of your understanding into presenting yourself correctly all while he is not willing to spend the time it takes to even try to understand it. Although this means that any information can potentially be “too much information”, oh well…he does not think so, so you need to get in with the program. Again and I cannot emphasize this enough; too much info can be overwhelming: what is he? Trying to date you or something? He has barely met you! He does not need to know anything….and while you are at it, you are free to rob his ass and take some cash specially if you have too many problems in your life that he is not interesting in hearing about or if you have spent money on a new pair of heels that you needed to put on in order to impress him. Revealing as little as possible is a great way of making sure you can commit a crime against him AND it is a great way to find a perfect partner. It is a win-win!

Fourth of all, now that you have dumped the idea that you are looking for a man to protect you as he is one who is looking to be protected from a woman and her ways, you need to show a level of self confidence that can only come when a woman is trying to defend her very own children from strangers. Even if you are a woman who acts desperate and needy as hell, you can still present yourself in a confident manner if you were to only imagine yourself having kids (which is something great and easy to do if you are desperate) as you would be one who guides herself in order to make sure that her children are guided. Meaning: if you were to walk on the sidewalk alone, you may not care so much about the steps taken…but if you are walking with children, you need to make sure that you walk as an example of how they need to walk as you would have no problems educating them along the way. Therefore, “Isn’t the food wonderful?!” and “The atmosphere here is great” are things that your children need to learn to appreciate as your date will appreciate hearing them as well. Holding your date’s hand as you cross the street is a “NO NO” however until at least the third date. But if your date tries to hold your hand after the first date, then you have successfully implemented this dating strategy where not only did you present yourself in a confident manner, but you would have also made him feel confident in the process. And although making sure that men feel confident is not a woman’s job as that has left many women enslaved to his pride and arrogance, you can afford a few domestic violence incidences as long as the abuse is not systematically accepted as it is in other cultures. (you can’t have it all).

Five: if you are looking for tips on how to please your date, then playing hard to get is a must given that these tips merely give you a way to “play hard to get”: I mean if you do not reveal too much info, that is playing hard to get. And if you wear high heels, you would be close to reaching things that are hard to get (height wise). And if you do not complain, that would be the same as if one is able to manage that which others may find hard to get or manage. And if you act confident, it would mean that you are capable of getting and knowing yourself and your date. Yet, playing hard to get is something that can be counterproductive given that men have already made sure that they are harder to get than a woman can ever be. And given that men’s way of playing hard-to-get is sexual, then playing hard to get can make your date desire you sexually more than he is interested in dating you. Not only that, but playing hard to get is a thing that can make men feel like they have not done enough to damage you as your self esteem seems to be fine. A man, in some cases, may feel the need to attain you sexually and in such manner as to assert that point as incorrect (sleep with you and then never talk to you again is one way some men assert that point). So whether you play hard to get or not, that is up to you in regards to the principles you live by as some women may want to assert a strength while others assert that same strength by not minding to show their weakness.

IN CONCLUSION: Dating a man who is understanding of what it means for a woman to be a person is difficult. And although men are willing to put up with the difficulty that comes from a woman playing hard to get, they are not willing to put up with the difficulty it takes to understand a woman—at least not from the very first life-changing and detrimental few dates. Keeping it classy in regards to men who have always placed us as second class citizens is what it is all about. Men need to feel like it is possible for a woman to have her life together in relation to the life he leads despite the fact that the lifestyle he has came at the cost of a woman not having that which he finds to be attractive. It is a chess game, really. Play your cards (or game pieces) right and it is possible for a woman to have it all if she does not care to worry about herself past that which a man desires. That is a compromise every woman should definitely make. Compromise, after all, is the foundation of every relationship in this world and it is a key to a successful dating life which is why compromise has failed to make every relationship successful but, instead, has lead to much unfairness and injustice. All in good spirits, however, and you can score yourselves a great man within the context of that world. Right?  We, women, shall work with what we have and make the best out of ourselves for whatever he sees fit…at least, for the first few dates or so!

About the Author

Liliyan Hassan

Founder: Go for Women

Leave a Comment