After Hurricane Harvey has finished having its way with Texas and Louisiana, another hurricane has taken the virgin Islands by a storm as it is currently heading towards Florida. Hurricane Irma is not only massive, but it has already banged The U.S Virgin Islands so hard that now we can officially change its name to, “Babylon the Whore” as per told in the Torah Revelations. The hurricane is expected to be a home-wrecking type for Floridians as it is promising to empty their pockets out of cash, bring them closer together for the work-on-the-relationship part, and then ultimately destroy their trust completely and utterly where they may need to move out of the state for good right after realizing that the relationship was not worth all that destruction yet alone the efforts to try to fix it.
Although Hurricane Irma is expected to do the labor of delivering its fussy baby in Florida after which he will grab everything he can find and toss it around while crying for “no reason except himself”, we need to understand that when it comes to children we cannot hold children accountable for their own behaviors which is why we are still charging his mother, Irma, for being the one responsible for the destruction . And although Irma is insisting that her child is just fussy and hard to deal with, we cannot ignore the signs of child abuse in the way he is behaving. Hence, in facing a child abuse situation, one needs to see the child to be similar to one who is trying to escape a hurricane (Hurricane Irma/Harvey) where he is forced not to only stay in the Hurricane’s zone but is also expected to deal with the situation in a manner where appropriateness itself is not suitable. In being similar to one who is trying to escape the storm but is not allowed to, this child turns into something of a hurricane himself where he cannot escape his own self or his own situation but all he seems to be good at doing is creating problems for others. This aspect here is in regards to blame and dependency, so I must ask: Who depends on such Hurricanes that they can take the blame themselves for the harm done? And who depends on parents that they can take the blame themselves for the harm done? I say that people do not depend on hurricanes for anything good; hence, the blame is on the Hurricane. Yet, children do depend on parents for many things good; hence, children may take some of the blame. Therefore, although it is easy to see how a Hurricane can be blamed for the damage done to a city or a state, the state of mind of most people in this world may be leaning towards looking at a child for signs of behavioral problems that they are burdening the parents with AND we need to see that the state of mind of a child who is abused is also leaning towards looking at his/herself for blame.
As the storm started to move into Florida and the water levels started to rise, emergency crew was no longer able to respond to any calls made by citizens stuck in the storm or flood. And in that same manner, when a child—specially if he is a male—reaches a certain age, society no longer responds to any harm done by that child onto others. Instead, society makes its move against him as now the damage is expanding past himself onto others. For it is sometimes safe to expect that Harvey was an Irma in that most men who act in a violent way towards women have faced some sort of child abuse which may include a societal one in the form of poverty, bullying, lack of realization of self-worth, and more. And indeed, such children know poverty so well that they are able to bring down an entire city to rubble albeit such children are rarely a part of the recovery effort since “recovery efforts” usually means having to send these children to jail. To confine a storm is to turn it into a hurricane, however, similar to how a hurricane gains strength when it is confined by the Gulf of Mexico region.
As Irma moves its way through Florida, we need to also understand that there is no Irma if there was not a Harvey. And although many mothers are accused and jailed for inflecting abuse against their children, many times such abuse is merely a reaction to an abuse she herself has faced. Yet, when it comes to abuse, we are all children. Hence, when parents abuse their children, the relationship no longer continues to be a child-parent relationship. Instead, the relationship starts to become a bullied-bully relationship as the child is being mocked, called names, beaten up, and neglected thereafter. Indeed, if you were an abused child and you were to look back at the abuse you received, you would probably agree that it was a bullying situation where the immaturity of the situation and the patheticness of it becomes something that angers you and makes you feel bad at the same time.
Where government and society gets prepared for a hurricane…and where humanitarian efforts are implemented for recovery, society is not even close to being prepared or mildly sensitive towards parents. The burdens of everyday life are demanded to be put away where parents are supposed to behave in a loving manner no matter what until they become big bullying children. The dependency of the child on the parents demand that the life of the parents is at least decent without much stress—if not for the parents themselves but for their children. And since parents are somewhat of a window of opportunity for the child, securing the parents is necessary in order to not be harmed by the storm.
Faced by abuse, a child may exhibit a few behaviors that are mostly anti-behavior in characteristic: The lack of ability of a child to take manners in his own hands may cause somewhat of a tropical depression which is a characteristic of a child experiencing repeated abuse. In addition, a child may exhibit signs of low self esteem and eating disorders such as eating and purging the same way a tornado carries things up only to toss them out later. Furthermore, and specially when the abuse is done by a man onto his son in the name of manhood itself, the child may start to bully others himself as a display of abuse accepted. Signs of neglect may also manifest where a child may be wearing the same clothes over and over again or where the child is not eating much or where the child is getting into too much trouble that insinuates the lack of having someone to watch over him. On the other side of that, the child may exhibit signs that come from being over-watched by parents where “caring about him” turns into a form of “targeting”. These signs may include injury, bruises, anorexia, self-image-issues, anxiety, and mood disorders where the child cries easily when receiving any attention whether positive or negative. Where the child of neglect is one who is more likely to become the hurricane or the bully, the child of over-watch is one who is more likely to be bullied and confined to the storm until s/he reaches a point where they turn to a storm themselves.
As Irma makes a landfall in Florida and the water level starts to rise, many parents around the country are rising against their children who are about to receive the first physical hit or the first mental landfall against them not realizing this day to be the beginning of a long strong hurricane storm. It is a thing of guilt that keeps the storm going. For if one is not supposed to hit another, then one time is way too many. And if a parent has ever hit a child, they are moved by a wind called “guilt” as the subconsciousness emphasis becomes on making sure that the child knows that one time is way too many where the one time truly turns into many. For if parents are facing a hard time in life, to harm a child once is to not resolve the original problem but to give it more weight. And to give the problem more weight through a child leads one to see the child as an easy place to express that problem and to see the child as a place of healing where parents may have a place, through guilt, to feel like they deserve that problem. As Hurricane Irma has destroyed much in the Virgin Islands, we need to see that it is the innocent (or the virgins) that are moved and impacted by the storm and harmed the most. Hence, the paradox of abuse is that the parents who abuse children are otherwise good people who may actually be nicer than others where their ability to cope with problems is the main problem. And the expression of such thing is indeed shown against a child. Although I am speaking well of parents, I am not speaking well of the abuse they inflect on their children but I merely saying that the nature of abuse from a child’s perspective comes from him/her accepting it as correct due to the correctness they see in the parents. And here, I am separating the two: the parents and the abuse; in order to say that the goodness of the parents is recognized by me although their situation may say that society at large has not recognized it. Yet, to accept the love one has for their parents as something that comes with the abuse is a problem. Hence, despite the love children have for their parents, they need to understand that to love them is to see the abuse they inflect as wrong in order that one can be part of a solution later on in life instead of ending up abusive as the parents themselves.
When we look at such situations as Hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Irma, we see that society needs to come together as one in order to heal. Yet, when it comes to child abuse, specially one faced by men, society sees itself better divided as a way to heal where jail cells become a place to rehabilitate the once-abused and where the removal of opportunity is used as a way to persuade the child to change as it becomes a punishment-reward program. It becomes necessary, therefore, to understand that if we are able to see the necessity in coming together for rebuilding homes and recovering cars and other material objects that have been damaged by a hurricane, then we need to see the necessity in coming together—and not against each other—in rebuilding the abused selves and helping them overcome the damage done by the abuse received instead of resorting to a thing where people decide to pack that which is not damaged and move out of the state for good after declaring the land itself to be something not worth it.
Irma (Written by L.G. )
sitting in the dead of night”,
a misty weather
hitting park swings on her flight,
she claims and cripples
coast is still unclear.
a deathblow destroys overnight;
the shoreline shivers,
quivers, silent pier.
are asked to fly and find the light.
Upheaval makes us
nurture this frontier.