Saudi Arabia: Car Sick

In Celebrity, Politics, Satire, Sex & Dating by Liliyan HassanLeave a Comment

So women in Saudi Arabia are finally given the right to drive as the Kingdom has suddenly and unexpectedly (in the same manner Mexico was hit with its last few earthquakes) lifted the ban on women driving. It is as if women driving was an ancient artifact that was buried deep in the middle of the desert and all of the sudden, “omg… look at what we have found here! women driving!” Except, religiously speaking, the opposite of that is what happened: It is as if “women NOT driving” was not buried deep enough and now it is buried deep enough for it to be discovered later except, here, “later” is like a few years ago. We are in difficult messed up times.

Although the women in Saudi Arabia have been sitting in the back seat of cars for 40 years feeling nauseated and sick to their stomachs, they have constantly been told not to open the window no matter how badly they needed some fresh air. But today, finally… women are given the green light to crack open that window. BUT: Are they going to be allowed to get some soup since they still feel a little dizzy from being in the passenger seat for so long? How about some crackers? Are they going to get the rest of their antibiotics since 40 years ago they were given their first pill but they need to finish the entire 7-day course of their medication lest their condition gets worse!!! All I am asking is this: why are women around this world given their rights via a medicine dropper that dispenses one drop of “healing solution” down their throats every 100 years or so?! Are we trying to also measure the length of the day in the Torah while we are at it so that by the time we finish our 7-day course of medication we would also be able to tell the universe how long it took for god to create heavens and earth?!

When it comes to women’s rights we are driving a Corvette 20 miles an hour down the freeway taking our sweet time just to get to a place that looks just like our own homes as a form of a once-in-a-life-time vacation. I mean, the house there is the same as ours…the front yard is the same as ours…the bedroom is the same exact one with the same exact furniture… the streets are even named the same and they look the same… the entire town is just like ours… it is a replica vacation spot of our own homes that we are supposed to be excited to go to and visit except once we get there we will get screwed in the head not knowing whether we have left already or whether we forgot to leave. But let me tell you something, ladies, while you sit there driving your cars as you head over to the same vacation spot we are all heading to, make sure you burn the “OneRepublic: Too late to apologize” song on a CD so that you can hand it to the men who are expecting us to be all happy and excited once we arrive there to meet them!

I’d take another chance, take a fall…Take a shot for you…And I need you like a heart needs a beat…But it’s nothing new…I loved you with a fire red…Now it’s turning blue, and you say…Sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you…But I’m afraid…It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late…I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late…

Now if I just put this CD in the car’s pocket over here so that I may throw it in some man’s face one day the way Beyonce told her man to put all his crap in the box to the left… That would be hot to do…

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Liliyan Hassan

Founder: Go for Women

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