1. Relationship with the Self
If I was in a room by myself, I do not need to look in the mirror to know that I am present. If someone else was to be in the room, I need to see her to know that she is present. Hence, in relation to others, recognition through appearance (or showing up physically) is more important and is more needed. This is why we NEED to (since that is the right thing to do) RECOGNIZE the physical appearance of other women more than our own. Our own appearance is recognized by the default that we exist and we feel ourselves.
2. Perception of Abuse
In relation to appearance, I appear to myself as a mind full of thoughts, history, and experience first. When I look at myself in the mirror, the way I look is secondary to the background story. If I was abused, I would be looking at the mirror as an abused person in relation to herself. I would not be looking at myself as an appearance without minding the abuse since the abuse is on the mind itself. Meanwhile when we look at other women, they appear as looks first where what is on her mind is revealed slowly to others and she may only reveal selected parts and not everything. If that woman was abused in the past, I am not looking at her as an abused woman but as a normal woman without that abuse being attributed to how I see her. Hence, in looking at myself I am similar to a story someone told me and now I am watching a movie version of it (meaning that I know the detail before knowing how I look in the mirror and this is proven to be so by the fact that a baby realizes the self and others before ever seeing his/herself). When looking at others, I am seeing a cover page of a story that I have not yet read –a story in a genre I am interested in (and this is proven to be so by the fact that we see a newborn first and we get to know their personality gradually–and this personality is known coming from appearance wise).
3. Personal definition of “Beautiful”
4. Nature of Attraction
5. Self-Esteem Boost
In the scenario given by Dr. Gleb, the woman says, “I don’t think I am very beautiful” although she tells her friends that they are beautiful. The ability to express to another woman how beautiful you think she is, ALSO takes a certain level of self-esteem since the woman needs to feel that her opinion in regards to appearance is something that will be valued by others. Some women do not compliment other women due to self-esteem issues where they may think that their opinion will be looked down upon and is not important. The reason why we can tell other women that we see them as beautiful is in appreciation to the self-esteem it takes for us to do that.
6. Isolation of Sexism
Women have been abused by sexism and still are affected/abused by it. This sexism has often left women isolated in their homes and unable to make any/many appearances with their friends. The value of “appearance” has increased towards women to highlight the rarity of it and the need of having more of it– Albeit this has become counterproductive at times since women are not able to care about themselves as much under such conditions. Yet, this has been made-up for by other women, who have also experienced the same, by recognizing the beauty and focusing on the positive aspects of other women even if they are harsher towards themselves. Women’s appearance is indeed very important and it should be very important for us to appear—it is more than looks. PLEASE NOTE: Men have further abused the result of their abuse by only complimenting women on their looks whenever they participate and appear in society so that appearance becomes of abusive nature just as isolation is .
7. Loss Of Interest Due to Sexism
A person appears to many people during the day and even to many many more people during her lifetime. Many women around the world are isolated and they appear only to few people during their lifetime. Women start to lose interest in caring about how they look when they are isolated in such manner since “appearance” loses relevance. When appearance is not relevant due to such reasons, other women appear to be more attractive–because appearance (to participate and appear) is more attractive.
8. The Numbers
The significance of appearance is in relation to the significance of the self…and the significance of the appearance of others is in relation to the significance of people… and the significance of the appearance of animals is in relation to health/safety… and the significance of the appearance of objects is in relation to personal taste. Beauty is usually an outward thing…a thing relative to everything else where the self is merely ONE in comparison to these many things and many people. People are significant–even more so due to abuse (it tricks your mind into giving others even more significance). The self is usually less significant due to abuse since the self is not the problem that requires your attention more urgently. Meaning that in relation to addressing the issue of abuse, you are not the one we need to be afraid of or worry from–men are the significant factor to worry from in terms of solving abuse. In seeing the self as less significant and others as more significant, we may see other women as more attractive than us.
Taking care of one’s self is important. Yet, sexism has created many socioeconomic classes where some women cannot afford to care about themselves properly neither care for the many problems they are facing. Hence, in realizing that she can take care of herself better and in realizing that she is not caring about herself the way she should, other women are seen as more beautiful for caring about themselves better.
10. The “Apparently” in Appearance
Appearance is apparently important. And others are always in relation to this “apparently”: We may say, “She is apparently talking to someone” as a reason past observation. And we can say, “she is apparently laughing” as a form of evidence—-to say that a person “is nice” is to say that you have met that person and found her to be nice; and to say that a person is “apparently nice” is to comment on the reason why people may like her. Hence, “apparently” is evident in relation to others as it carries what we define as, “evidence”. MEANING: EVIDENCE ITSELF IS THE SAME AS “APPARENTLY”. To say that “Apparently Am talking on the phone!”, is to say that others should have seen that you are talking on the phone right this moment. Hence, appearance is “apparently” towards others; and when we say it about ourselves, it is in terms of what others should have noticed about you (from others towards the self). Therefore, appearance is demanded to be recognized more towards that angle (angle of others).
11. Understanding Towards Self
12. Looks Over Abuse
13. The Eye In Relation To Abuse
15. Reason Behind Rape
In a world where women are raped, it is right for a woman to see herself to be not as attractive as she truly is and for her to see other women as more attractive. This is due to the fact that YOU ARE NOT THE REASON WHY YOU ARE RAPED if you were to ever be raped. You are not the reason why you are seen as attractive physically. If anything, you are the reason why you see yourself as LESS attractive than you really are. Yet, towards others, seeing other women as more beautiful emphasizes this, “it is others who see you as attractive” point which in turn emphasizes that point to us as well. Our minds seem to feel better in relation to reality and the dangers in it if we feel less attractive than more attractive.
16. Room For Doubt
Good health gives a better appearance. A good mental state is healthy and the person looks at herself correctly in relation to that healthy mind. When a woman is abused, this “correctly” is removed even if the person takes care of herself physically thereafter. This removal of “correctly” is now a “room for doubt” where this “room for doubt” means that one cannot be certain or secure about how she looks…for the mind is in a state that says, “things can be better” and that is the state she is using when she looks at herself. This “can be better” is now exemplified when looking at other women.