The English Stole Our Numbers

In Religion, Satire, Uncategorized by Liliyan HassanLeave a Comment

As you all know, Arabs have been obsessed with numbers for as long as we can remember. Not only have Arabs been on a mission to increase their population in order to overtake the world, but Muslims have also been commanded by god himself to do so. And indeed, evidence exists to prove that god himself has asked Arabs to do so as part of his effort to bring their attention to an issue that the English have been trying to cover up since ancient times: Their theft of the Arabic Numeric System from the Arabs. Yes: not only have the Jewish people stolen the Hummus of the Palestinians, but the English people have stolen our numbers as if we are stupid fools (fool in Arabic means pinto beans) who do not have the right to neither keep our land properties nor our intellectual properties. So today, I will be showing you exactly what the English people did in order to take our numbers and make them their own without any sense of shame or decency:


As you see, the English people literally took the Arabic numbers and added them up to make up their own stupid number system. Yet, this is great news for Arab children: Now you can take your numbers, and by simply and pathetically adding them up, you can learn how to write these same numbers in English all while learning your math! YAY! What is 2 plus 2, Ali? it is the number 4 in English. Wah wah wa: It is no longer just a 4 in Arabic…nope, if you want the numbers to add for you little Ali, they need to be in English. That outta teach him how to take ownership back of that which truly belongs to his people! As for little English boys and girls, you can do the same except you will learn that your numbers do not add all up even if you do the math correctly since your people have stolen our numbers in a manner that is lazy and incomplete as they left out the Arab people’s number 7 (Lucky number 7: this is why number 7 is lucky—because the Arabs managed to hold onto it from the filthy hands of the English) and Arab people’s number 8. What is 4 plus 4, little Thomas? It is not the Arabic 8 even though your number 8 is the Arab’s 4 plus 4 … Is it not confusing when you steal things that do not belong to you, Thomas?!  Other than the Arabic numbers 7 and 8, English children can also easily learn the Arabic number system all while they learn their history lessons in order to digest the extent of harm their people have done onto the universe where they have not left a single corner of our universe untouched by their crooked ways. Trust me, when your history teacher tells you that, “today we will be learning math…” you will understand the disservice you have done onto your children, dear English people!

About the Author

Liliyan Hassan

Founder: Go for Women

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