The Logic in News

In News, Politics, Satire by Liliyan HassanLeave a Comment

Humanity never fails to impress me. We come into this world and we are supposed to make our marks on it. But we are also supposed to leave it in a better condition than that which it was found in. Yet, people from the past have left us a mess. The mess is similar to 1000 people taking a huge dump in the middle of a living room—one dump on top of another. The cruelty of the people in the past is filled with such acts as slavery, massacres, holocaust, sexism, and so many human rights violations —- acts that are so inhumane that they resemble the behaviors of thoughtless monsters. One thousand people walked into a living room and they all took a dump; one dump on top of another. And so we came into a world full of shit. Yet, there are some people who are still taking off their pants trying to take yet another dump on top of the shit that is already smothered everywhere. Whether it is through the building of nuclear weapons…whether it is through the insistence in keeping people living in poverty….whether it is through the insistence in sustaining sexist ways… whether it is through the insistence of over-profiting… whether it is through the insistence on violence… whether it is through the insistence in practicing corrupt politics and leadership: It is almost animalisic, at this point, for another person to even dare to fart in that shit-filled-living-room we call “OUR WORLD”.

It is not within our rights as human beings to think that we can just walk into this world, live as we please without a care or a thought about others, leave a mess for the children-to-come in order that they can be your slaves in your absence (talk about supremacy) so that they can live a life where they distract themselves by pretending to clean the walls in order to avoid the shitty floor while adding a little chemical (A chemical they invented as they pretended to be busy doing something else in regards to the mess) to make the crap dissolve on its own quicker. Put down your Febreeze you shallow people who think that your shit does not stink forgetting that your noses have evolutionized to include an embedded smell of crap since even your genes have assumed that this is the best way it can allow you to put up with more shit while still have the ability to demand in arrogance the respect of others. Why do animals have different noses than us? Ours does not need to smell for crap on the outside.

It is just that I woke up this morning, I turned on my laptop to see the news and it was like, “Iran will keep producing missiles”, “North Korea something something (assumed it is nuclear related)”, “Someone someone Sex Allegations”, “Aggravated murder blah blah”… Imagine if you open your eyes the first thing in the morning and you are greeted with these news for reals. And it is for reals that we are greeted with these news stories. We forget that this is similar to your neighbor knocking on your door and telling you, “This man is building a nuclear weapon!!!” and then two minutes later another neighbor knocks on your door and tells you, “Did you hear about the aggravated murder that happened to your friend (imagine, he could have been your friend otherwise one day)?” and then two minutes later–while you are scrambling in a frenzy– another neighbor knocks on your door and tells you, “I hate to tell you but your buddy got arrested for sex assault allegations against your niece!”—–I mean, what a heart-attack?! Such scenario needs a cross since a cross examination will render the entire world to be needed for an interrogation. It is just that you would be in such a frenzy that the frenzy will start to become painful as you have no clue which way to turn where it becomes better if you were put on a cross on top of the universe for all to see (Jesus died for us to sin and kill each other, right?). You yourself would ask for a few nails and two heavy pieces of wood. Yet, the news comes all at once on usually one website for you to cruise through while sipping coffee as your mind tries to make you hate every person in those stories labeling this man, “A dumb F#@k” and labeling that one an, “Insane psychopath” in order that your soul can create a disassociation between what is right for a person to be allowed to feel and the truth of this awful reality.

So, before you unzip your pants and before you think about trying to take another dump in the already shit-filled-living-room-of-a-world, substitute the sugar in your morning coffee with a bit of decency and remember: Humanity says that if one was to spend every minute of his/her life on cleaning the crap instead of doing anything else at all, that s/he will live a more fulfilling life. For those who try to make a life out of ignoring the crap and those who try to make a life out of buying and selling it and those who try to make a life out of adding more to it, do not only justify its existence but they are the crap itself that needs to get cleaned and dumped despite the arrogance in the expensive clothes they wear and in the majestic way they try to carry themselves.

About the Author

Liliyan Hassan

Founder: Go for Women

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