When the later is right now, we have intent. And when we think of later in relation to what it is that we are going to start doing right now, we have intent. If I plant a tree today, my intent for planting it would come the day I reap its fruit. With anxiety, the later is right now and one feels the “later” to be a thing one should fear at the current moment. The past has been very problematic against women. And today, women are still living the product of the past as we are still trying to free ourselves from its shackles. The intent of the past is difficult to pinpoint: And today women who have anxiety are fearful in regards to tomorrow being here today. And this means two things: A. Either women are reaching the intent of yesterday. Or B. women are not acting in accordance to their true intent as to allow her to feel like she is a good person in whatever she is planning for her future to come.
If women are reaching the intent of yesterday (or A. above) that would be the same as B. where women are not acting in accordance to their true intent. For if we are reaching the intent of yesterday, this means that our intent is tampered with today given that we have never been allowed to act within our intent as to carry it all the way through. So that would be a defining moment in relation to what means for a woman to have an intent. Meaning: Today is more important than we may think for today seems to be a defining moment for what intent will mean for women today and into the future.
Men constantly tell us that their beliefs are based on what they believe to be good. And when looking at the past, many men live today in defense of it. So, today, we still stand in the middle of the road that was paved by past ideologies and whatever their intent might have been. And we are moving forwards in a fashion that is indeed worrisome given that having the expectation to make “progress” in relation to such ideologies is something that dismisses the fact that progress is not within the near vicinity of what those ideologies mean. How do we make progress from being dumped into a ditch? Meaning: men and society are trying to make progress and advance as women are hoping to gain rights in the process, but is progress an element found in past ideologies as to allow us to leave them as the starting point of our progress?
We have past tense, present tense, future tense, intense, and intent. And with anxiety, time itself is mixed up–as this becomes an intensity in relation to problems piling up which is a thing that is bad in relation to time itself as that is an attack against time. Meaning: time passes and problems pass… but if problems are just piling up, then those problems are distorting time itself. For if the past tense presents itself in the present time as a clean slate, there is no intensity in relation to things piling up (problems piling up) and this would allow one to say, “intent is not important” given that intent is truly not important since we are all expected to have good intent. MEANING: intent is not really important since we all are expected to have good intent. But if intent becomes important, that means that one is questioning the intent of people (the intent of people in the past has already been put into question). Hence, time and its importance in relation to the piling up of problems says, “intent is important for us to look at”. Again: It is expected that we have good intent. We are not allowed to act within the terms of “bad intent”.
Bad intent is not lies—for the truth is something that is separate from intent in such fashion that if I was to give you a glass of water to drink without knowing that it was poisoned, my intent would be to only give you a glass of water. The truth that the water was poisoned is separate from my intent as I was not aware of such truth. The truth is one thing and intent maybe another which is why good intent is a must. Hence, if we are allowed to have bad intent, the poisoned glass of water becomes a thing that creates a worry in relation to whether a person lied or not as to put the truth—the truth which is not a thing that people are forced to know—in a position to be searched and frisked. That is called, “disrespecting the truth”–a thing of bad intent and lies. Hence, we can say that the root of all anxieties in relation to social relationships is bad intent because it shakes the foundation of truth and puts everyone into question as a suspect—which is a thing suspicious.
Throughout history, women have been deprived and restricted in such fashion as to not allow us to carry the terms of our intent. This means that until today, we do not even know what intent a woman has. Men have had their intent and we have been forced to follow it and live in accordance to its terms. So:
What intent do women have today and what intent have women had throughout all these years? We can say that women have had “bad intent” since the beginning of time due to the fact that “bad intent” is just an intent that is not “correct” or not “enough” to be considered “an intent”. Good intent must fulfill what it means for one to have an intent. And bad intent does not fulfill what it means for one to have an intent. And so, women have been forced to carry “bad intent” by men throughout history as they were subjected to live by men’s intent and his rules. We are not allowed to have bad intent. This means that: No intent should be bad intent. NO INTENT SHOULD BE BAD INTENT (or in other words: no one should have bad intent—or no intent is allowed to be a bad intent). Yet, what this also means is that when women have been deprived from carrying their own intent, this is the same as men having the right to oppress them. For if one is not allowed to have bad intent, then others are allowed to say, “you are not allowed to act in accordance to your intent”. And men started off with enforcing a rule that says, “you are not allowed to act in accordance to your intent” as if women had bad intent and men were the ones trying to protect the earth from the calamity that our intent would create. If women have been living in accordance to the thought that says, “I have bad intent”, then what she expects tomorrow in regards to “intent” in general is that which is bad because she herself is the one who is bringing forth that bad in it. This, in turn, gives a woman who is experiencing anxiety the feeling of an internal attack that is similar to one’s heart dropping as she is dealing with a feeling that is “sudden” but is in relation to that which has been contemplated for a while. It is as if a woman has found something bad about herself. This is one feeling that a woman may feel when she experiences anxiety.
Allow me to take a minute to say the following: When it comes to bad intent, it is either us who have had bad intent or it is men who have had bad intent. One cannot say that neither of us had bad intent because we would be stuck with what it means to have bad intent.
Women are forced to rely on men’s intent. This means that what is to come is not within a woman’s control in relation to that which is really significant for the woman herself. Add that to the lack of good treatment that a woman has probably received many times during her life, and one can say that it is almost a certainty that what is to come is not something that is going to be great. For, at the least, this deprivation of will and intent is something that one must fear if only in relation to the control that a woman have a right to have over her own self. To deprive women from freely exercising their will and to deprive women from carrying their own intent results in an instability in relation to her feelings as a gap is created where a woman is jumping from herself to other people under which their will and their intent is supposed to be sufficient enough for her to fill that gap. This is the second feeling that a woman may feel when she is experiencing anxiety: it is a feeling that one is skipping over something as to land on a place where she feels like she has discovered herself to have done something bad as the feeling continues to skip and cycle—such feeling is similar to a shake or a shiver that is internal and is related to the self more than the outside although the outside is somehow asserting itself above that nevertheless.
What is respectful in this world is good intent and the product of good intent. What people should inherently disrespect (or not find to be respectful of them) is bad intent. This takes me to the best way that I can describe what it feels like for one to experience anxiety: a woman may feel anxiety to be similar to one feeling that others (or what is to come) has a right to disrespect her. This feeling would be a result of one carrying the terms of “bad intent”. To carry the terms of bad intent means that one has been treated as if she is the one who has bad intent. For we have been forced to act by men’s intent–which is a thing harmful to subject anyone to. Yet, men went further into treating us as if we are the ones who have bad intent if we were to break their rules. Meaning: “if you lose your virginity before marriage, I will kill you”… a woman who breaks that rule is seen as if she is the one who has intended to harm men. Hence, the rules imposed on women came with the assertion that a woman who breaks those rules is one who is bad intentioned. Hence, a woman, in relation to what is to come in the future, is one who is forced to take a position where others have the right to disrespect her given that those rules are man made and they are open to interpretation where those rules could have been anything and everything you could think of. This feeling of insecurity is something that places a woman under the mercy of others in the same manner a woman is made to go on a roller coaster without a seat belt.
These are the anxiety basics. The next few articles will address specific anxiety disorders.